sometimes i chase
the strongest embrace
in perfect place
to leave this space
covered in lace
finished the race
finding a base
This existence is beautiful
This existence is
what is this?
why does it matter?
can it be?
does it have to be?
does it have to matter?
do i have to matter?
do i have to have a story to tell?
will my successors need a story of me?
can i live a happy life without meaning?
can i live a happy life?
this existence is confusing
the very idea of existing can take me for a ride i dont want to take
but the idea of not existing is so much more
so much scarier
so much more confusing
because it brings up more
ideas that have more influence
this existence can break me down sometimes
sometimes i cant help but scream
sometimes i just want to sleep
sometimes i just need to write
sometimes the clouds arent white
and sometimes the sun isnt bright
sometimes the moon doesnt have the same resonance
and sometimes i feel like i dont have a presence
its a weird
but its still very beautiful
My lighthouse stands tall
Fire pouring out of the top like the tip of a lit cigarette
It stands there where the ocean touches land and looks out on all of the horizons
My lighthouse has been places
My lighthouse knows the waters as well as the land
My lighthouse stands in the face of danger as a beacon for all who needs its light
My lighthouse tells me stories of captains lost at sea who were equally lost on land
My lighthouse is a navigator of paths
My lighthouse burns so bright the stars look on with envy
My lighthouse knows the moons middle name
My lighthouse has lines where the tide as ridden up and marked it
My lighthouse bears the brunt of many storms
My lighthouse stands strong
My lighthouse knows her walls and stairs and stones
My lighthouse stands at the perfect height
My lighthouse has cracks in some of its walls
My lighthouse never wavers
My lighthouse is beautiful
Without My lighthouse I’d be lost and I think the world would be too
I’m at barcade with the lovely…..realizing how vast the demographic is
Its weird how I used to be so fearful of my body until I found you.
And fearful of being weak.
But now I feel most clothed lying without in your arms.
And strongest with my fingers laced in yours.
Today whilst waiting for a fellow employee to ring me up for the snack I was planning on eating on my break I was approached by a customer; because of my inability to lie or tell someone I’m on break I helped her.
She was looking for the twilight movies in a blu-ray combo pack with all of the special features. I regretfully informed her that we do not carry what she was looking for. She was persistent in finding what she was looking for claiming she is “the biggest twilight fan” and “twilight for life. I would like to mention now that she was probably in her late 50’s. I looked on the company website and began to list what we had online and what each option came with; while she interrupted me informing me that what I was telling her was exactly what she told me she wasn’t looking for before I could explain that the format she didn’t want was just bonus content with the format she did.
All that was a bit odd and I’ll admit a little annoying, but that’s just another day in retail.
What really threw me off was after she determined that nothing we had on our website was what she was looking for and that it was a sad sad thing she began to ask me about her biggest passion.
She asked if I liked the movies…and I replied honestly with a no.
She said yeah most guys don’t
She then preceded to inform me that the story behind twilight was beautiful and nothing else compares and it changed her life.
She told me that people don’t understand the movies and books. That I probably didn’t even see the movies, and that the bad acting is all people notice and not the story.
She seemed to think that because I am a male I cannot possibly understand a love story.
THIS I found to be utter bullshit.
The fact of the matter is I personally LOVE-love stories and rom coms too.
I think love and the power it possesses within people is immense and beautiful and wonderful.
What I thought of the twilight saga was the exact opposite of a beautiful love story.
It was a teenage lust triangle between a highschool age human girl a werewolf and a vampire.
It was about some poor dame that needed protection from the two “men” that she loved.
I got the story.
It wasn’t much different than another one of those terrible reincarnations of romeo and juliet some bored movie studio tries to shove down the general public’s throat every year.
it was bad.
the story was a well worn one with two of the worlds favorite mythical creatures involved.
it wasn’t anything special ….really it wasn’t
please don’t preach to me about it.
And PLEASE do not assume that my gender has anything to do with my capacity to understand a love story.
and PLEASE don’t interrupt my break to do so.
They parade his ghost around like he’s still in charge all the while doing every possible thing he stood against. He is their messiah. They are the writers of the book.
If you asked a million people what animal they’d like to be too many people would say bird.
The bird is such a beautiful creature and has become the biggest symbol of freedom to humankind ever.
While I appreciate the bird in all of its spectre I must admit there is one animal far freer than its winged wonder.
If asked the same question I would through and through pick human.
Why? You ask
Because we fly.
Much higher than mere birds.
And we push to fly higher still.
Why is the bird the symbol for freedom when its limited to its biology?
Its wings will not take it higher than its abilities.
Yet we humans never meant to fly have sailed among the stars.
We are the true symbols of freedom.
Because we are free to be MORE than what were made of. We will not let anything hold us down.
as if one could feel a glow
it resonates from deep within
as though the body was separate
and the heart and mind moved as one
as it pulsates through
in torrid waves
as though feeling was pure
unscathed by the ideals
untouched by the outside
and for a moment
for a single moment
freedom from everything hindering emotion
it all passes in a wash
a clearing in the mechanisms
the mind and heart flow free
and create the waves necessary
to move again
the electrical pulsations
possessing every inch of the body
lifting it from the earth
and throwing it into the universe
it creates itself
so it can love itself
it just wants to move
so it occupies the crevices of humanity
every single space
to be one with the universe
and move again